So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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