see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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