I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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