it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
