Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
