4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
