as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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