Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
