I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
