i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
