I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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