I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
