I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Holy sore nipples Batman
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
