PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Randomize
