Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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