just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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