i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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