either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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