I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Its about making memories worth repressing
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
