David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
