Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
