the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
