terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
