Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(+77): View more from

her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'

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(757): View more from Virginia

everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.

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(817): View more from Texas

I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"

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(516): View more from New York

My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(519): View more from Ontario

Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.

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(646): View more from New York

I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex

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(703): View more from Virginia

I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.

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