i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona