so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
