I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
