The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
