I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
