Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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