I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
