And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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