Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
