Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
