I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
