the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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