I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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