It's Friday. Sex?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
