she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
