i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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