careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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