I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
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It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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