How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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