the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
