hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
