Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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