I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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