Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
