It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
