Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize