I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
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My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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