some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize