Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize