That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
