hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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