ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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