I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
