Just cropdusted the office
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
